Saturday, May 17, 2014
A Walk At 2 1/2 Feet Tall
A simple walk around the block with Addison really opens your eyes to the details of the world... She walks in the crisp grass sometimes to hear the way it crunches under her sneakers, and when she does mosey down the sidewalk, she'll trot like a pony to hear the clop of her rubber soles slap pavement. She will bend down to inspect a flower's petals from every angle, reach out and touch a leaf to see how the waxy green feels on her fingertips. Her head whips back and forth from each side, concrete to clouds, to ensure she never misses seeing part of the world. If desired, a favorite lovey accompanies us for the .62 of a mile loop. Just because it's nice to have your best friend with you. A walk with Addison makes time slow down. Everyone should take a walk like that every once in a while and remember to enjoy life.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Mama Bear
Mama Bears are fierce. They are large and in charge creatures who will kill to protect their young cubs. You only see a Mama Bear with her cubs and I think that's partly why. With no Daddy Bear around she has to be the caring and nurturing parent but she also has to be the provider and protector.
Like bears, us humans would do anything to defend our babies and keep them safe. Let them fall, let them learn to get up yes, but do anything necessary to protect them whether that involves child-proofing the house, buckling the extreme amount of buckles on a car seat, or keeping a wary eye out for predators/kidnappers (the scariest of Mommy fears) when out shopping...
Though I would definitely kick some serious butt (we have gone G-rated with language in this house) if needed, I think a Mama Bear is grouchy for a good reason. She's exhausted! I'm referencing the knock-down, drag-out, face-to-pillow, drooling from exhaustion, growling and teeth "bearing" (see what I did there?) EXHAUSTED. Now see, though us moms are super about plastering a smile on our faces and conquering the world when we wake up, it's the waking up that is hard. It's like a torture routine in my house.
Addison is sleeping in her big girl bed these days and she can get up and come find Mommy on her own in the mornings now. I hear vaguely, in some part of the back of my brain, her pop up and grab her Lovey and skedaddle out of her bed in the morning over the monitor receiver. It takes about 15-20 seconds for her to make her way down the long hallway and around the corner. You'd think I'd be up and ready to greet her and take on the world right? Nope. Even though I slightly hear her coming, nothing can prepare you for a 3-foot tiny human to come open and slam your bedroom door, wander over to the edge of your bed and yell in your face, "UP! UP! UP!" at 5:40 in the morning.
Hhhmmmmmn. "UP! UP! UP!" Opening one eye, I reach over and tap my phone. Hhhmmmmmn. Close my eye again. "UP! UP!" I groan and croak out, "Addison, honey, it's too early. Come snuggle with Mommy." The reply, "UP!" "No 'up'. It's too early to be 'up'. Come snuggle," I plead. I know if I can entice her to lay with me for a minute we might get another half hour to hour of sleep. Beautiful sleep. I was just up with Loralei about an hour ago around 430 and barely crawled back into bed for the third time that night.
She holds her slender arms up for me to grab her and help her into the covers. We snuggle close and I close my eyes breathing in her Johnson's and Johnson's sweet baby smell. Just as I start to really drift off again, the bassinet squeaks. No. Please, no. Another squeak and a whimper to go along with it. Hhmmmmmn. I breathe deeply, exhale, and moan as Addison snores on Josh's pillow. She is such a mini-Josh. Stretching, I open one eye and see that it is 6:07. Squeak. I rub my face with my hands, roll off the bed and scoop up Loralei just as she wakes up to cry and bring her to the changing table.
After I change her, we sit in the glider to nurse and I close my eyes as I rock slightly enjoying the rest-like state. Once she's content again, I gently place her back in the bassinet and climb back into bed slowly, hugging my pillow like a long-lost friend. The phone says 6:39. I sigh and close my eyes drifting off...
"UP!" Grrr.
Like bears, us humans would do anything to defend our babies and keep them safe. Let them fall, let them learn to get up yes, but do anything necessary to protect them whether that involves child-proofing the house, buckling the extreme amount of buckles on a car seat, or keeping a wary eye out for predators/kidnappers (the scariest of Mommy fears) when out shopping...
Though I would definitely kick some serious butt (we have gone G-rated with language in this house) if needed, I think a Mama Bear is grouchy for a good reason. She's exhausted! I'm referencing the knock-down, drag-out, face-to-pillow, drooling from exhaustion, growling and teeth "bearing" (see what I did there?) EXHAUSTED. Now see, though us moms are super about plastering a smile on our faces and conquering the world when we wake up, it's the waking up that is hard. It's like a torture routine in my house.
Addison is sleeping in her big girl bed these days and she can get up and come find Mommy on her own in the mornings now. I hear vaguely, in some part of the back of my brain, her pop up and grab her Lovey and skedaddle out of her bed in the morning over the monitor receiver. It takes about 15-20 seconds for her to make her way down the long hallway and around the corner. You'd think I'd be up and ready to greet her and take on the world right? Nope. Even though I slightly hear her coming, nothing can prepare you for a 3-foot tiny human to come open and slam your bedroom door, wander over to the edge of your bed and yell in your face, "UP! UP! UP!" at 5:40 in the morning.
Hhhmmmmmn. "UP! UP! UP!" Opening one eye, I reach over and tap my phone. Hhhmmmmmn. Close my eye again. "UP! UP!" I groan and croak out, "Addison, honey, it's too early. Come snuggle with Mommy." The reply, "UP!" "No 'up'. It's too early to be 'up'. Come snuggle," I plead. I know if I can entice her to lay with me for a minute we might get another half hour to hour of sleep. Beautiful sleep. I was just up with Loralei about an hour ago around 430 and barely crawled back into bed for the third time that night.
She holds her slender arms up for me to grab her and help her into the covers. We snuggle close and I close my eyes breathing in her Johnson's and Johnson's sweet baby smell. Just as I start to really drift off again, the bassinet squeaks. No. Please, no. Another squeak and a whimper to go along with it. Hhmmmmmn. I breathe deeply, exhale, and moan as Addison snores on Josh's pillow. She is such a mini-Josh. Stretching, I open one eye and see that it is 6:07. Squeak. I rub my face with my hands, roll off the bed and scoop up Loralei just as she wakes up to cry and bring her to the changing table.
After I change her, we sit in the glider to nurse and I close my eyes as I rock slightly enjoying the rest-like state. Once she's content again, I gently place her back in the bassinet and climb back into bed slowly, hugging my pillow like a long-lost friend. The phone says 6:39. I sigh and close my eyes drifting off...
"UP!" Grrr.
Monday, May 5, 2014
I Can Do It All - With A Baby On Each Hip
We've all seen the two main types of moms of multiple littles while in the grocery store…the one who has her shit together moving as smoothly as NASA engineers launching a rocket with not one hiccup (three-two-one-blast off!), and the one who can barely manage to keep her kids in her line-of-sight, tossing anything within reach into the buggy. Sloppy Joe sauce and black beans…I can make a decent meal with this! Hell, not only have you seen both these types of moms you have probably been both at some point right?
I'm here to tell you that I definitely have. You have to totally screw it all up first to figure out how to do it right, right? Yes. The first time I was truly out of the house after Addison was born was to go to the mall and dinner with my husband, Josh, and my mom, when Addison was about two months old. It was also the first time I had to feed Addison in public. Well, in public was actually hiding away in the center of the large bathroom stall standing up with my nursing cover on in Olive Garden. Five minutes before that she peed all over the changing pad, new diaper yet to be placed on her bum, her outfit and even onto the floor. I count my blessings that she didn't somehow manage to pee on me as well. To this day, I barely remember how I changed her and cleaned up the mess while holding my giant over-stuffed diaper bag. I just knew I had to. I ended up taking my fidgety baby to the car to finish nursing while my mom and husband finished dinner without me, bringing me a to-go box later. I consider it a success, no?
So now that I have two tiny humans, one breastfed and one eating food food, you might be wondering, like many other's who have yet to have multiples, what's the secret to being a mother of two under two? Mostly, for me, it's faking it and a can-do attitude. I've always had the optimistic attitude and the faking it just takes a little practice. Maybe three weeks worth? My brother's girlfriend came over last week and watched amazed while I unfolded and snapped into place Addison's high chair one-handed and swung her into it all while wearing Loralei strapped to my chest in the Moby wrap. Then as I ran between letting dogs in and out, making a sandwich, fetching a juice cup, picking food up off the floor, preparing my own lunch, grabbing some fruit, running for a rag to clean up with…"Uh, can I help you?" she asked. "Naw, I got it," I said back honestly.
What can I say? I have had plenty of practice. I literally do this all day every day. The main thing is you just do what you gotta do to keep the tiny humans happy. What ever makes them happy. Within reason of course. Don't go tossing ice cream cones and candy in the air while you announce there will never be nap time or pajamas again. That's just crazy. At this stage of life for Loralei, being happy is mostly just boobs. Sorry to say but those ladies are her joyous little world. And it's a nice world. It's so simple to make her happy. For me anyway. Hubs is just gonna have to figure something else out there. I was in the shower a few weeks ago and he kept telling me she was hungry, "She's sucking on my arm!" he yelled. "Let her!" I called back. Haha, maybe that arm hickey will make him realize how brutal breastfeeding is.
Keeping Addison happy is a totally different story. She can move and climb and therefore requires constant supervision. If she's doing something dangerous and you request she stop, some demon toddler takes over her body and she will flail and scream and cry crocodile tears, my sweet angel having fled the scene. Hello Satan, have you seen my darling little girl?? And trust me, if you blink, she's into something dangerous. Seriously, she can scale the drier. Seriously. She's standing on my left having just pushed the wet darks into the drier and I bend and reach to my right to grab some lights to toss in the open wash and as I stand back up she's just there, sitting on the drier grinning at me. Uh, ok then. So I have to be more versatile and ready to run with her. She doesn't care if I'm changing Loralei, nursing, peeing, vacuuming, whatever, when she wants to throw the ball, it's time to throw the ball. That's how toddlers work. It's their little world, we just live in it. If you can accept that fact, then having two under two becomes understandable.
A firefighter's wife asked me the other day if it was "doable" to have two kids so young. (She's contemplating it as her first-born child turned one at the end of last month.) I told her it's completely doable if you like a challenge. In the event of a melt-down, or every day before dinner, you just have to know who to handle first. The trick is to make the bigger tiny human happy first. Their needs are just more complicated to decipher as they can't yet talk but still have demands. Once you figure out what it is they want (such as attention, a snack, a drink) make that happen then make the little tiny human happy. (Read about the boobs again above. ^)
So, yes, I can read a book with a toddler on my lap, fill a sippy cup, switch laundry from the washer to the drier, make a sandwich…all one-handed or while nursing. I will whole-heartedly admit that I sucked capital S at this the first few weeks when Josh's paternity leave ended, but when you're the only one home with two crying babies, three dogs barking at the doorbell, and the drier buzzing in your ear, you just figure it out. There is no alternative. This…is…SPARTA!
Oh, and baby-wear when you grocery shop. They can't run if they are strapped to you!
I'm here to tell you that I definitely have. You have to totally screw it all up first to figure out how to do it right, right? Yes. The first time I was truly out of the house after Addison was born was to go to the mall and dinner with my husband, Josh, and my mom, when Addison was about two months old. It was also the first time I had to feed Addison in public. Well, in public was actually hiding away in the center of the large bathroom stall standing up with my nursing cover on in Olive Garden. Five minutes before that she peed all over the changing pad, new diaper yet to be placed on her bum, her outfit and even onto the floor. I count my blessings that she didn't somehow manage to pee on me as well. To this day, I barely remember how I changed her and cleaned up the mess while holding my giant over-stuffed diaper bag. I just knew I had to. I ended up taking my fidgety baby to the car to finish nursing while my mom and husband finished dinner without me, bringing me a to-go box later. I consider it a success, no?
So now that I have two tiny humans, one breastfed and one eating food food, you might be wondering, like many other's who have yet to have multiples, what's the secret to being a mother of two under two? Mostly, for me, it's faking it and a can-do attitude. I've always had the optimistic attitude and the faking it just takes a little practice. Maybe three weeks worth? My brother's girlfriend came over last week and watched amazed while I unfolded and snapped into place Addison's high chair one-handed and swung her into it all while wearing Loralei strapped to my chest in the Moby wrap. Then as I ran between letting dogs in and out, making a sandwich, fetching a juice cup, picking food up off the floor, preparing my own lunch, grabbing some fruit, running for a rag to clean up with…"Uh, can I help you?" she asked. "Naw, I got it," I said back honestly.
What can I say? I have had plenty of practice. I literally do this all day every day. The main thing is you just do what you gotta do to keep the tiny humans happy. What ever makes them happy. Within reason of course. Don't go tossing ice cream cones and candy in the air while you announce there will never be nap time or pajamas again. That's just crazy. At this stage of life for Loralei, being happy is mostly just boobs. Sorry to say but those ladies are her joyous little world. And it's a nice world. It's so simple to make her happy. For me anyway. Hubs is just gonna have to figure something else out there. I was in the shower a few weeks ago and he kept telling me she was hungry, "She's sucking on my arm!" he yelled. "Let her!" I called back. Haha, maybe that arm hickey will make him realize how brutal breastfeeding is.
Keeping Addison happy is a totally different story. She can move and climb and therefore requires constant supervision. If she's doing something dangerous and you request she stop, some demon toddler takes over her body and she will flail and scream and cry crocodile tears, my sweet angel having fled the scene. Hello Satan, have you seen my darling little girl?? And trust me, if you blink, she's into something dangerous. Seriously, she can scale the drier. Seriously. She's standing on my left having just pushed the wet darks into the drier and I bend and reach to my right to grab some lights to toss in the open wash and as I stand back up she's just there, sitting on the drier grinning at me. Uh, ok then. So I have to be more versatile and ready to run with her. She doesn't care if I'm changing Loralei, nursing, peeing, vacuuming, whatever, when she wants to throw the ball, it's time to throw the ball. That's how toddlers work. It's their little world, we just live in it. If you can accept that fact, then having two under two becomes understandable.
A firefighter's wife asked me the other day if it was "doable" to have two kids so young. (She's contemplating it as her first-born child turned one at the end of last month.) I told her it's completely doable if you like a challenge. In the event of a melt-down, or every day before dinner, you just have to know who to handle first. The trick is to make the bigger tiny human happy first. Their needs are just more complicated to decipher as they can't yet talk but still have demands. Once you figure out what it is they want (such as attention, a snack, a drink) make that happen then make the little tiny human happy. (Read about the boobs again above. ^)
So, yes, I can read a book with a toddler on my lap, fill a sippy cup, switch laundry from the washer to the drier, make a sandwich…all one-handed or while nursing. I will whole-heartedly admit that I sucked capital S at this the first few weeks when Josh's paternity leave ended, but when you're the only one home with two crying babies, three dogs barking at the doorbell, and the drier buzzing in your ear, you just figure it out. There is no alternative. This…is…SPARTA!
Oh, and baby-wear when you grocery shop. They can't run if they are strapped to you!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
An Apology
I just want to come out and say I'm sorry... I'm sorry I don't return your calls for days. I'm sorry I don't call in the first place. I'm sorry I can't reply to your texts, but that Addison does. I'm sorry that we don't meet up and hang out anymore. I'm sorry I can't enjoy a meal in a restaurant that requires us to stay longer than 30 minutes tops. I'm sorry all I can talk about is my kids and their latest "discovery". I'm sorry I can't continue to look at your face when we talk because I'm running after a baby, but I promise I am listening...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36OKi1DRgoA
If you click the link above and watch the short clip, you get a small glimpse into a stay-at-home-mom's life. Though we love it, and cherish it, every day can sometimes seem like a battle to win and in the accomplishing of chores we lose those valuable relationships we used to have with other family and friends. Basically, unless you currently have a tiny human of your own to care for, we are just at a loss of what to do with you now. Our whole lives, day-to-day functions, purposes for existing, are tiny human related. Always.
I can't hear you on the phone so I don't call. Someone is always loud in the background and you'll end up feeling neglected because I keep going "Sorry, what?". If you text me, I can reply quickly in the middle of most tasks but there is also a chance that Addison will be the one responding with a series of scrambled numbers and letters. I can't go anywhere that requires me to leave my little one's for long because I am their main source of care/food. I can't go anywhere that requires my little one's to sit still for more than a half hour. They just aren't capable at this age. If I can manage to go somewhere with you it should preferably be somewhere I can breastfeed without judgement, child-proofed a little so Addi can run happily free, and please, let it provide snacks. We are always snacking. It's hard for me to uphold a decent conversation unless you brought your own tiny human to entertain mine but I'll do my best. I can't promise it'll be anything interesting to you unless you are excited about potty-training or something as mundane-sounding as learning to sit up.
It might seem bland and repetitive to you, but this is my life. They are my whole world. And I like my world. But I do miss you. You should know that. I miss our long conversations and leisurely meals together and the ability to go to events with you. But I also won't miss them forever. My girls will grow so quickly. They already are. I don't want to miss these seemingly mundane days. To you Loralei is just laying on her belly, to me she's lifting her head higher than yesterday and the big grin on her face matches mine as she grasps a new skill vital to life. And as you watch Addison point to her nose and toes and belly when asked, know that I taught her that. Part by part she is discovering her body, her current mysterious struggle is the elbow. It just keeps hiding behind her arm you see. I promise that one day I will come back to you, and please please please don't stop trying to call, go, and visit with me. Just know that I am thinking of you in my loud world and waiting to hear from you, go with you, see you, but right now we are trying to find an elbow...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36OKi1DRgoA
If you click the link above and watch the short clip, you get a small glimpse into a stay-at-home-mom's life. Though we love it, and cherish it, every day can sometimes seem like a battle to win and in the accomplishing of chores we lose those valuable relationships we used to have with other family and friends. Basically, unless you currently have a tiny human of your own to care for, we are just at a loss of what to do with you now. Our whole lives, day-to-day functions, purposes for existing, are tiny human related. Always.
I can't hear you on the phone so I don't call. Someone is always loud in the background and you'll end up feeling neglected because I keep going "Sorry, what?". If you text me, I can reply quickly in the middle of most tasks but there is also a chance that Addison will be the one responding with a series of scrambled numbers and letters. I can't go anywhere that requires me to leave my little one's for long because I am their main source of care/food. I can't go anywhere that requires my little one's to sit still for more than a half hour. They just aren't capable at this age. If I can manage to go somewhere with you it should preferably be somewhere I can breastfeed without judgement, child-proofed a little so Addi can run happily free, and please, let it provide snacks. We are always snacking. It's hard for me to uphold a decent conversation unless you brought your own tiny human to entertain mine but I'll do my best. I can't promise it'll be anything interesting to you unless you are excited about potty-training or something as mundane-sounding as learning to sit up.
It might seem bland and repetitive to you, but this is my life. They are my whole world. And I like my world. But I do miss you. You should know that. I miss our long conversations and leisurely meals together and the ability to go to events with you. But I also won't miss them forever. My girls will grow so quickly. They already are. I don't want to miss these seemingly mundane days. To you Loralei is just laying on her belly, to me she's lifting her head higher than yesterday and the big grin on her face matches mine as she grasps a new skill vital to life. And as you watch Addison point to her nose and toes and belly when asked, know that I taught her that. Part by part she is discovering her body, her current mysterious struggle is the elbow. It just keeps hiding behind her arm you see. I promise that one day I will come back to you, and please please please don't stop trying to call, go, and visit with me. Just know that I am thinking of you in my loud world and waiting to hear from you, go with you, see you, but right now we are trying to find an elbow...
Monday, April 28, 2014
Manic Monday - Just Another Day In Paradise
A day in the life of a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) of 19 month and 3 month old girls...
Wake up. It's Monday right? Grocery day. And it's the 28th. Free dozen donuts for Heros from Krispy Kreme. Kiss Josh bye cause it's a Squad Truck day and he's working an extra 12 hours from 845am-845pm. He is always early and is departing at exactly 8am. Breakfast time. Luckily for me Addison woke up early and had breakfast with Josh so I can spring right up and get dressed. (I begun showering at night when Loralei was born because it saves time in the morning and there is generally someone here to hold/watch babies. Or I jump in after they both go to bed.) Dash to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal while Lora dozes quietly and contentedly. Addi has already been up for 2 hours so she wants a snack. I toss her in her high chair and while she buckles herself in I grab a Greek yogurt berry granola bar for her. We eat quickly together then I jump up to pack the diaper bag and go to the girls room to get their outfits for the day.
Get Addison cleaned up and down and changed then Loralei and sit down to nurse. Put Loralei in the carseat and Addison in her shoes. Grab the diaper bag, keys, baby and baby hand and head to the garage after throwing Milkbones at the dogs. It's only 915am. Buckle everyone in and head to West Ashley to Krispy Kreme. Buy dozen donuts for my family (myself) and dozen for station guys. Head back to North Charleston. Swing into car wash to wash van and decide to "splurge" paying $8 for the extra bubbles and liquid wax crap cause seriously, who has time to do that? 10 minutes later end up being disappointed because half the time only one side dispersed bubbles. Gr.
Pull into Target and free Addison to run while nursing Loralei. Buckle Loralei into the Ergo baby carrier and Addison into the buggy cover and toss in the diaper bag. Spend the next hour gathering items off the list, nodding at other moms, handing snacks and toys to Addi who is getting tired and restless. Take a shopping "selfie" with the girls. Checkout with 2 buggies full of food, baby things, pet items and a Princess Sofia coloring book. Save $57 by couponing. Somehow manage to get both buggies of food and babies back to the car and loaded in with no harm done. Only 1120am. Book it back to the house and run back and forth unloading all the bags into the house while the babies nap safely in the van in the garage. Let the dogs out and run back to van for Lora. Toss cold stuff into the fridge/freezer, change Lora, let dogs back in and lock door back and go sit in van and nurse while Addi still naps. Almost noon.
Buckle Loralei back in and drive around the mall to pass lights and get easily to Chick-fil-A for grilled chicken and fruit. 1245pm. Head to Station 2. Unload babies, donuts, diaper bag, and lunch with Josh. Change Addi who leaked out of the side of her diaper and eat quickly in case Lora wakes up. Josh runs out on a call and comes back for 15 minutes and then leaves again. I gather back up remaining donuts, diaper bag, carseat with Loralei, and Addison's hand and make the way back to the van to drive home.
At home, unload babies, diaper bag, and donuts then remaining groceries and put away last night's dishes. Change babies. Throw in a load of laundry. Sit down for about an hour and a half on the floor to nurse then play with the girls. Laugh, talk, take pictures, lay on the floor and color. Switch laundry to drier and add another load. About 500pm begin cooking dinner and dealing with inevitable melt downs that come from tired babies. The next hour consists of calming a hungry Addison and cooking while baby-wearing Loralei. Stop cooking to change Addi from head to toe after she splashed in the completely full dog water bowl. Continue cooking.
Get Addi into the high chair again and join her for dinner then switch laundry again. Clean her up and take her down to play for a half hour while I tidy up and start gathering supplies for bath-time. Nurse. Addison in the tub and cleaned and out. Loralei in the tub and cleaned and out. Nurse then story and teeth brushed and in bed with both girls. Josh comes home. Tidy up the house and then this Mama gets an hour to write and shower and then go to bed herself.
Wake up. It's Monday right? Grocery day. And it's the 28th. Free dozen donuts for Heros from Krispy Kreme. Kiss Josh bye cause it's a Squad Truck day and he's working an extra 12 hours from 845am-845pm. He is always early and is departing at exactly 8am. Breakfast time. Luckily for me Addison woke up early and had breakfast with Josh so I can spring right up and get dressed. (I begun showering at night when Loralei was born because it saves time in the morning and there is generally someone here to hold/watch babies. Or I jump in after they both go to bed.) Dash to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal while Lora dozes quietly and contentedly. Addi has already been up for 2 hours so she wants a snack. I toss her in her high chair and while she buckles herself in I grab a Greek yogurt berry granola bar for her. We eat quickly together then I jump up to pack the diaper bag and go to the girls room to get their outfits for the day.
Get Addison cleaned up and down and changed then Loralei and sit down to nurse. Put Loralei in the carseat and Addison in her shoes. Grab the diaper bag, keys, baby and baby hand and head to the garage after throwing Milkbones at the dogs. It's only 915am. Buckle everyone in and head to West Ashley to Krispy Kreme. Buy dozen donuts for my family (myself) and dozen for station guys. Head back to North Charleston. Swing into car wash to wash van and decide to "splurge" paying $8 for the extra bubbles and liquid wax crap cause seriously, who has time to do that? 10 minutes later end up being disappointed because half the time only one side dispersed bubbles. Gr.
Pull into Target and free Addison to run while nursing Loralei. Buckle Loralei into the Ergo baby carrier and Addison into the buggy cover and toss in the diaper bag. Spend the next hour gathering items off the list, nodding at other moms, handing snacks and toys to Addi who is getting tired and restless. Take a shopping "selfie" with the girls. Checkout with 2 buggies full of food, baby things, pet items and a Princess Sofia coloring book. Save $57 by couponing. Somehow manage to get both buggies of food and babies back to the car and loaded in with no harm done. Only 1120am. Book it back to the house and run back and forth unloading all the bags into the house while the babies nap safely in the van in the garage. Let the dogs out and run back to van for Lora. Toss cold stuff into the fridge/freezer, change Lora, let dogs back in and lock door back and go sit in van and nurse while Addi still naps. Almost noon.
Buckle Loralei back in and drive around the mall to pass lights and get easily to Chick-fil-A for grilled chicken and fruit. 1245pm. Head to Station 2. Unload babies, donuts, diaper bag, and lunch with Josh. Change Addi who leaked out of the side of her diaper and eat quickly in case Lora wakes up. Josh runs out on a call and comes back for 15 minutes and then leaves again. I gather back up remaining donuts, diaper bag, carseat with Loralei, and Addison's hand and make the way back to the van to drive home.
At home, unload babies, diaper bag, and donuts then remaining groceries and put away last night's dishes. Change babies. Throw in a load of laundry. Sit down for about an hour and a half on the floor to nurse then play with the girls. Laugh, talk, take pictures, lay on the floor and color. Switch laundry to drier and add another load. About 500pm begin cooking dinner and dealing with inevitable melt downs that come from tired babies. The next hour consists of calming a hungry Addison and cooking while baby-wearing Loralei. Stop cooking to change Addi from head to toe after she splashed in the completely full dog water bowl. Continue cooking.
Get Addi into the high chair again and join her for dinner then switch laundry again. Clean her up and take her down to play for a half hour while I tidy up and start gathering supplies for bath-time. Nurse. Addison in the tub and cleaned and out. Loralei in the tub and cleaned and out. Nurse then story and teeth brushed and in bed with both girls. Josh comes home. Tidy up the house and then this Mama gets an hour to write and shower and then go to bed herself.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
A Boy??
We are a happy family of 4. Josh and I have 2 darling little girls. Very very loud darling little girls. When we were dating we agreed that we wanted 2 kids, close together in age, whatever the genders. My sister and I are only 12 months apart, while my brother and I are 4 years apart so I've seen and experienced both sides of the sibling spacing. Josh and his sister are 4 years apart and he believes he might have gotten beaten up less if they were closer in age. (From what I've heard, it's lucky for Josh's mom that didn't happen or 1 of the 3 would've committed suicide during the teen years I'm sure.)
Anyway, when Addison was 4 months old, I chucked the pills once again and we started not trying to stop number 2. When Addison was 7 months old, we discovered we were expecting once again and straight from the beginning everyone wished us to be blessed with a boy so we could have "1 of each". Even strangers in the grocery store could foresee a male heir in our future. From the second I had shown Josh the test, he claimed to KNOW we were having a girl, "It's another girl! I know it! I'm going to be surrounded by girls!" Well, secretly, I hoped and prayed it was a girl too. For Addison's sake. I loved growing up with my best friend and I wanted her to have a sibling close like that. Someone she could have tea parties and play dress-up with, and later, in the teen years, throw I hate Mom parties, gossip about boys, and share clothes with.
On September 19th, the day before Addison's 1st birthday and party, Josh and I went to the doctor for an ultrasound and as soon as the tech scanned my belly Josh shouted out, "It's a girl! I KNEW it!" "You don't know that," I replied. The tech then confirmed, that yes, our little one was a she. We were thrilled! And we knew her name the instant we saw her sweet face after months of debating girl names. (It's harder to name your kid in round 2.) She would be Loralei Ruth. That was that. We knew we would have 2 girls and be done. I did even ask Josh as we left just to be sure that he didn't want 3 children or a son. He confirmed no, he would be happy with 2 daughters.
Still, though we were elated at the news, some family, friends and even strangers seemed disappointed. We heard comments like: "Oh, you'll change your mind", "Everyone needs a brother", "Don't you want to carry on the family name?", and "Every man wants a son." I'm not the kind of person who normally tucks her tongue in her cheek but I knew that the only opinions and insight about what works for us, is us. So I kindly, well as kindly as I could manage for someone growing more and more pregnant with a girl hearing these negative type comments about how I should be carrying a boy could take, brushed them off.
For the record, not everyone assumed or gave their opinion about us having a son. Many people asked "WHAT are you having?" before "Is it a BOY?" and then would comment on how nice it will be to re-use everything pink and not have to purchase so many clothes. But to those who feel compelled to say, "Maybe next time..." I feel compelled to reply, "Why does there need to be a next time?" It just makes me wonder why people believe that the perfect American family must have 4 people with a child in each gender? Aren't we past the days of the 1950s attitude toward families? I didn't see a girl in Leave it to Beaver. In today's society your family is what, and who, you make it. Blood doesn't always make a strong bond and a best friend can become a sister. I'm pretty sure those with 2 children of the same gender would agree with me that they don't feel anything lacking in their lives. I'd like to add that daughters can do what sons can do. Josh is already looking forward to taking our girls camping and fishing and to play sports and paintball. We don't need a boy/son/brother to be complete.
Plus, we don't want to be outnumbered by our kids. That's just crazy! ;)
Anyway, when Addison was 4 months old, I chucked the pills once again and we started not trying to stop number 2. When Addison was 7 months old, we discovered we were expecting once again and straight from the beginning everyone wished us to be blessed with a boy so we could have "1 of each". Even strangers in the grocery store could foresee a male heir in our future. From the second I had shown Josh the test, he claimed to KNOW we were having a girl, "It's another girl! I know it! I'm going to be surrounded by girls!" Well, secretly, I hoped and prayed it was a girl too. For Addison's sake. I loved growing up with my best friend and I wanted her to have a sibling close like that. Someone she could have tea parties and play dress-up with, and later, in the teen years, throw I hate Mom parties, gossip about boys, and share clothes with.
On September 19th, the day before Addison's 1st birthday and party, Josh and I went to the doctor for an ultrasound and as soon as the tech scanned my belly Josh shouted out, "It's a girl! I KNEW it!" "You don't know that," I replied. The tech then confirmed, that yes, our little one was a she. We were thrilled! And we knew her name the instant we saw her sweet face after months of debating girl names. (It's harder to name your kid in round 2.) She would be Loralei Ruth. That was that. We knew we would have 2 girls and be done. I did even ask Josh as we left just to be sure that he didn't want 3 children or a son. He confirmed no, he would be happy with 2 daughters.
Still, though we were elated at the news, some family, friends and even strangers seemed disappointed. We heard comments like: "Oh, you'll change your mind", "Everyone needs a brother", "Don't you want to carry on the family name?", and "Every man wants a son." I'm not the kind of person who normally tucks her tongue in her cheek but I knew that the only opinions and insight about what works for us, is us. So I kindly, well as kindly as I could manage for someone growing more and more pregnant with a girl hearing these negative type comments about how I should be carrying a boy could take, brushed them off.
For the record, not everyone assumed or gave their opinion about us having a son. Many people asked "WHAT are you having?" before "Is it a BOY?" and then would comment on how nice it will be to re-use everything pink and not have to purchase so many clothes. But to those who feel compelled to say, "Maybe next time..." I feel compelled to reply, "Why does there need to be a next time?" It just makes me wonder why people believe that the perfect American family must have 4 people with a child in each gender? Aren't we past the days of the 1950s attitude toward families? I didn't see a girl in Leave it to Beaver. In today's society your family is what, and who, you make it. Blood doesn't always make a strong bond and a best friend can become a sister. I'm pretty sure those with 2 children of the same gender would agree with me that they don't feel anything lacking in their lives. I'd like to add that daughters can do what sons can do. Josh is already looking forward to taking our girls camping and fishing and to play sports and paintball. We don't need a boy/son/brother to be complete.
Plus, we don't want to be outnumbered by our kids. That's just crazy! ;)
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Dirty Laundry
We all have things we don't want to talk about. Secrets, the past, something we did, something done to us. In our house the unspoken is the element of danger. We don't need to talk about it because it exists so much in our everyday lives that sometimes it seems to be an additional family member. Danger Lookout Graham, it'd make a cool name, no? Josh was at another meth lab tonight. His station is one of the hazmat stations in North Charleston which to me means that he'll be put in more precarious situations more often. Gas leaks, bomb threats, mysterious packages, meth labs...he is one of the guys making sure the air is breathable, clearing the scene, assisting the cops in collection/clean-up. I'm used to him coming straight home to hop in the shower, leaving me to wash his uniform immediately. "I don't want the girls touching it." Chemicals, "fluids" of a various nature, and blood are all pretty common for me to clean out. My stomach does a little flip every time I have to Shout out blood that isn't his. I'm so glad that it isn't his, and yet also sad/disgusted that it's someone else's. I mean, how many times have you been covered in some random person's blood? It's a very personal thing, to know you were that close to someone in what had to be an intense situation.
I'm here to tell you though, there is nothing like cleaning blood out of yours and your husband's shirts knowing it's your own baby's. Literally your own flesh and blood. Monday evening before dinner we went upstairs to my mom's room to hang some curtains for her as a surprise. She happened to arrive home during the process and once we were done we sat up on her couch and bed chatting and holding babies while Josh moved the TV box for her. I let go of a squirmy Addison who wanted to go climb on her bed and continued talking, while sitting on a bench at the foot of the bed. Addison clabbered up into the pillows and stood, bouncing herself to the center of the bed in a fit of giggles. I absentmindedly told her to stop jumping, it was dangerous and asked Mom how the cake went over (see Happy Birthday Cake - Daisy). I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Addi fling out her arms and dive from the pillows to the foot of the bed. I threw out my own arm and connected with some part of her middle but her forehead still slammed into the ironwork footboard. I had her snatched up and in my arms before she drew a breath to scream and there was already blood running down her face.
By then Mom and Loralei and Josh had run over. The next part is a little blurry to me as I stood there holding her but we ended up in Mom's bathroom with a towel pressed to Addison's head as she cried and tried to push Josh's arms away. "She needs to go to the hospital," Mom said so we all ran down the stairs with babies and into the kitchen where Ryan met us having heard the commotion and mention of an ER. In the next 10 minutes everyone acted. Ryan ran to the garage for a Popsicle to help the tears, I grabbed snacks and a milk cup for the diaper bag since no one had eaten yet, Josh called several ER's to establish which would be the best for pediatric care and Mom held Loralei and talked to Addi to keep her calm.
Josh, Addison and I jumped in the car and drove as quickly and safely as we could to Nason Medical. I filled out paperwork and then we were admitted to wait to see a doctor. The wait seemed forever and Josh and I did what we could to distract our baby girl and keep her happy.
Finally the doctor breezed in and before he even touched her, Addison began to cry again. Josh held her down as she was evaluated and it was decided that glue would be a better alternative to stitches for her age and the scarring. He left for a few minutes and in that moment Josh and I looked at each other and felt a sad connection. Our first baby and her first real accident. It was horribly clarifying that we can't protect her from everything. The doctor then returned with a nurse and a sheet as Addigator's crocodile tears started up again. "We're gonna make her a burrito. I need someone to help hold her head." "That's all you Josh," I said. I can't hold my baby down for pain. When she cries at shots, I tear up too.
Addison was wailing when Josh set her down and started really screaming and thrashing as the nurse wrapped her arms up in that sheet. Nurse, doctor and Josh all laid her back on the bed and doctor prepared to glue her cut. By this point, it's a miracle people weren't streaming in to see the tiny person with the big voice. When my sister spit her chin open and needed stitches, it took 8 nurses and doctors to hold her down and the doctor ended up stitching them backwards and had to REMOVE THEM only to do it again. Let me tell you what Aunt Holly, Addison would've made you proud. She fought, she yelled, she wiggled, and I'm sure if it needed to be another minute she would've broken out.
When it was all over and my baby was unwrapped she wanted nothing but her Mama and vice-gripped my neck. We gathered up ourselves and our things to check-out throwing away the white hand-towel of my mother's that was now colorful with purple Popsicle juice and my baby's bright-red blood. I asked Josh if it was any different having a random person's blood on you compared to your baby's, because it felt different to me as I sprayed Shout on his shirt that night...
I'm here to tell you though, there is nothing like cleaning blood out of yours and your husband's shirts knowing it's your own baby's. Literally your own flesh and blood. Monday evening before dinner we went upstairs to my mom's room to hang some curtains for her as a surprise. She happened to arrive home during the process and once we were done we sat up on her couch and bed chatting and holding babies while Josh moved the TV box for her. I let go of a squirmy Addison who wanted to go climb on her bed and continued talking, while sitting on a bench at the foot of the bed. Addison clabbered up into the pillows and stood, bouncing herself to the center of the bed in a fit of giggles. I absentmindedly told her to stop jumping, it was dangerous and asked Mom how the cake went over (see Happy Birthday Cake - Daisy). I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Addi fling out her arms and dive from the pillows to the foot of the bed. I threw out my own arm and connected with some part of her middle but her forehead still slammed into the ironwork footboard. I had her snatched up and in my arms before she drew a breath to scream and there was already blood running down her face.
By then Mom and Loralei and Josh had run over. The next part is a little blurry to me as I stood there holding her but we ended up in Mom's bathroom with a towel pressed to Addison's head as she cried and tried to push Josh's arms away. "She needs to go to the hospital," Mom said so we all ran down the stairs with babies and into the kitchen where Ryan met us having heard the commotion and mention of an ER. In the next 10 minutes everyone acted. Ryan ran to the garage for a Popsicle to help the tears, I grabbed snacks and a milk cup for the diaper bag since no one had eaten yet, Josh called several ER's to establish which would be the best for pediatric care and Mom held Loralei and talked to Addi to keep her calm.
Josh, Addison and I jumped in the car and drove as quickly and safely as we could to Nason Medical. I filled out paperwork and then we were admitted to wait to see a doctor. The wait seemed forever and Josh and I did what we could to distract our baby girl and keep her happy.
Finally the doctor breezed in and before he even touched her, Addison began to cry again. Josh held her down as she was evaluated and it was decided that glue would be a better alternative to stitches for her age and the scarring. He left for a few minutes and in that moment Josh and I looked at each other and felt a sad connection. Our first baby and her first real accident. It was horribly clarifying that we can't protect her from everything. The doctor then returned with a nurse and a sheet as Addigator's crocodile tears started up again. "We're gonna make her a burrito. I need someone to help hold her head." "That's all you Josh," I said. I can't hold my baby down for pain. When she cries at shots, I tear up too.
Addison was wailing when Josh set her down and started really screaming and thrashing as the nurse wrapped her arms up in that sheet. Nurse, doctor and Josh all laid her back on the bed and doctor prepared to glue her cut. By this point, it's a miracle people weren't streaming in to see the tiny person with the big voice. When my sister spit her chin open and needed stitches, it took 8 nurses and doctors to hold her down and the doctor ended up stitching them backwards and had to REMOVE THEM only to do it again. Let me tell you what Aunt Holly, Addison would've made you proud. She fought, she yelled, she wiggled, and I'm sure if it needed to be another minute she would've broken out.
When it was all over and my baby was unwrapped she wanted nothing but her Mama and vice-gripped my neck. We gathered up ourselves and our things to check-out throwing away the white hand-towel of my mother's that was now colorful with purple Popsicle juice and my baby's bright-red blood. I asked Josh if it was any different having a random person's blood on you compared to your baby's, because it felt different to me as I sprayed Shout on his shirt that night...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
