A Mother's Confession

Everyone knows I love my daughter more than my life and that I would do anything for her. I did do something huge by having a Cesarean section. Obviously, I had no choice since she was complete breech and that was the only option for her to exit my body. Which she didn't want to do by the way. Dr. Lynch said she was trying to crawl up as they tugged her butt downwards. Though I love my daughter and would do anything for her, I have a secret confession...I hate my scar. I absolutely 100% can't stand it. And I'm not talking the shallow "it's not pretty, my body isn't perfect, I have a scar" I hate it; I mean I hate that it itches non-stop and continues to hurt even though Addison is now 4 1/2 months old. Wearing jeans all day, my most favorite comfortable form of clothing, now has me twitching at the end of the day and dying to take them off and exchange them for comfortable, loose-fitting sweats or yoga pants. The muscles underneath my scar ache periodically in either a jabbing pain or a constant ache. The scar itself isn't that horrible. It looks like a simple 4-inch scar. It's even below my tan line. The technique nowadays is to shave the top of the pubic hair and make the cut there. It's prettier that way so women can still wear a bikini again after this surgery (if they ever manage to get rid of the loose skin and feel like rocking one, which I totally will cause I love em). Plus being so low on the abdomen it prevents tearing both of the abdominal muscles and the skin in additional pregnancies. It all points to positive things.

Did you know research proves that 1 in every 3 women gives birth through a Cesarean? At a baby playgroup Addison and I attended the other day 3 of us 5 women had our children that way. Again, I was breech so no choice, the second woman had a 10lb 12oz baby boy so she had to because he wouldn't fit through her birth canal (she did 10 hours of labor just for the fun of it) and the last woman was having twins that both tried to come out at the same time. Eek! Most of the women I talk to that have had a section say that recovery wasn't so bad and their scars healed fine. I'm hoping that in about 5 years I can say the same as well. Maybe as my core continues to strengthen, it'll hurt less. Either way, I wouldn't trade my daughter's birth for any reason. Though it pains me sometimes I'll continue to look at my scar with pride. I did what I had to do to have Addison safely. That will always be the most important factor. And I'll do it again for the next baby if I'm not a candidate for VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) because that's what good mother's do. They sacrifice what they want for the benefit of their children. And that's all I hope to be.