Unwritten

The pages turn no longer,
Language is silent;
my name dead on her lips.
The utensils of my craft lie abandoned,
alone.
I dream of her as a lost lover –
forever paused,
holding for my care once more
but the passion no longer grips my throat and squeezes
squeezes until questions unfold.
My arm sits still,
fingers twitching to grip the smoke of the past
but time is gone. The clock canters.
It gallops.
Icily, my body holds, waiting,
yearning for her touch again
to strike me in the witching hour.
Yearning for her to care for me
as I once did for her…

Life is a little thing

Little emotional rant: I'm having a hard time sleeping tonight...Josh had a hard day on the squad truck. He wouldn't give me any details because he doesn't ever want to upset me, but he had to go on a call around dinner time where a 6 month old baby was shot on the porch on a home in North Charleston. The news reported at 11 that it was inside and looked like the 4 year old sibling had found a gun to play with while the mother was in the yard...but Josh said it didn't look that way to him and that the baby had been left alone on the porch when responders arrived. He wasn't sure what the outcome would be since the baby had lost so much blood. Neighbors didn't see anything and only heard the shot. Where were the parents? Where was anybody? While this horrible moment was happening and Josh was dealing with it, I was playing with Addison's toes and watching her eat her watermelon and practice her sippy cup. 2 nights ago I finished her quilt and I went in there tonight while she was sleeping covered in it to just look at her and see that she is whole and safe and it occurred to me that I would do anything for her. People say things like that all the time but I would no hesitation jump in front of a bullet for that magical creature who sometimes makes me crazy and sleep deprived. I hate that Josh has to see incidents like that while on the job. It can't be easy and I can tell that since we've had Addison and become pregnant with Baby that it effects him a little more. When he called he asked me to hug her and Baby until he got home and could do it himself. I did and what I didn't tell him, what I don't tell anyone, is that I'm so glad it wasn't me. I don't think I'm strong enough to see that. Or is it just because I would rather be tortured for months than see my sweet baby girl hurt for a second? I couldn't sleep last night because Addison had nightmares every hour and tonight I can't sleep because I feel the pain of someone who's baby has a hole in them because they weren't watching, or worse, put it there themselves. I feel for the people who responded to the call, the doctors who had to operate on an innocent baby. I'm sure they all went home to hug their babies, be grateful that isn't their world. I am too. I'll take sleep deprived hours and playing with little baby toes any day. 

Get Well Soon cake

Cake I made yesterday afternoon. Yellow cake with homemade buttercream frosting. 

Tree bark quilt

Made my first quilt today! Pretty proud of myself so I thought I'd share a picture or 2. Front:

Back: 

4th of July Firework Cake and Cupcakes

Sometimes you just need to bake things. It's like peanut butter for your soul; and if you know that movie reference, we're gonna be bffs. ;-) Well with baking comes decorating when you talk cakes and cupcakes. And honey, I love to talk cakes and cupcakes! My family reunion is this weekend so we will be attempting to drive up several mountain roads for 8ish hours with our 9 month old little girl. Fun stuff. Anywho I made a cake and several cupcakes for the occasion. Here's some fun pictures! 

No sew tutu!

Hey all! I thought I'd share some knowledge I came across about how to make a no sew tutu with step by step with pictures included. First thing is first, decide what color scheme you want to follow. I've found the more colors the better so I'd advise a minimum of 2. For Addison's tutu I decided on 4 colors of tulle since its for her 1st birthday party. You also need to pick a ribbon since this is essential for the "no sew" part and allows you to let the tutu grow a little with your little one. These are the colors I picked and my ribbon: 

The most tedious part of the process for me was cutting the ribbon into strips. I cut each ribbon into 2 inch strips. 

Don't worry if they aren't perfect - no one will know, trust me. The next step is to measure your little one's waist with the ribbon and add another foot and a half for the bow. You can always cut off a few inches later when it's all done. The easiest way to put the tulle strips on the ribbon is to tape the ribbon ends to the top of 2 dining room chairs. Then just go to it and start adding the tulle to the ribbon. 

Honestly I forgot to take a picture of the actual tying part but you can tie it how you feel comfortable. I used a loop knot: take the tulle folded in half and place the ends at the bottom behind the ribbon and the folded top above but still behind the ribbon. Bring your left hand up and pass the ends through the "loop" and pull it tight and secure on your ribbon. Keep adding strips varying the colors so it looks like this. 

And tie tie tie until your arms are numb.

At some point I thought trying not to sew was crazy and I should bust out my Brother but I foraged on. And ended up with THIS! 

I promise it is so fun looking and cute! I pulled the pink strips up to the top after this picture and is so girly. So run off to Hobby Lobby and get started! 

Fire truck cake

So I have the best friends in the world who also happen to be my neighbors...Lucky me! ;) They are great to call for spider-killing, dog-sitting, help moving things, ect. They are just awesome people. The last thing they did was dog and house watch when we went to the Fire Convention in Myrtle Beach and though I looked, I couldn't find any "My neighbor is a fireman" shirts or stickers. From previous posts you know I'm taking a cake decorating class so I decided to make my first official cake a fire truck cake to thank them for all they do. They love it! Pictures below.